Preparation for a race like the Bell’s Iceman Cometh is extensive. Our racers ride up to a few hundred miles per week, putting in endless hours of physical exertion in the hopes of a fast ride on one special Saturday in November. They open their wallets to make sure they have the best equipment, the lightest parts, and the most aerodynamic gear to ensure they’re leaving no watt unused. Months of preparation all boil down to how two hours unfold with 4,000 of your friends.

But sometimes, it’s all for naught and the race doesn’t go quite to plan. In this scenario, it’s just as crucial to be prepared for all of the uncomfortable questions post-race; mostly, “How’d your race go?”

To help you prepare for that question in the event of an off day, here are some free excuses to keep in your back pocket. For added effect, we’ve translated these excuses into their actual meaning for bystanders so they know what really caused you to finish 168th place ride in the men’s 56-57 year old class. 

  • Oh man, I was flying until Headwaters, and then the lights just went out and I bonked hard.

Translation: “I sucked wheel all the way to Headwaters and then got dropped like a sack of potatoes.”

  • My race went ok, but I got stuck behind people on a singletrack section and lost a ton of time.

Translation: “I sat-in and refused to take a pull on the front of the group on the fast flat sections, then complained people in front of me were going too slow in the singletrack.”

  • Legs just didn’t have it today.

Translation: “I drank way too much beer last night.”

  • My stomach didn’t like that new energy mix I tried.

Translation: “I drank way too much beer last night.”

  • I don’t really care where I finished. I was just out there to have fun, man.

Translation: “Maybe I should have done the Zwift races on the trainer instead of watching Golden Girls on Netflix all October.”

  • I didn’t do great, but it’s just because I haven’t had much time to train.

Translation: “I’ve been drinking way too much beer.”

Boom. You’re now completely prepared for the race and we can’t wait to see you in Kalkaska on November 2nd. At the end of the day, we just hope everyone makes it to Timber Ridge safely and has one heck of a good time. Whether you’re out there to take on Geoff Kabush or if you’re wearing a tutu and rocking a unicorn costume, we want you to make your Iceman Cometh experience your own. We’ll keep the fires roaring and the Bell’s beer cold for you. 

Comments
Victor S.

- Shuttle was late, my time was awful.
Translation: "Iceman wasn't prepared for how many riders would use it, nor organized to send lower waves before later waves."

Andy Klevorn

My piece of advice, after completing 19 Bell's Iceman Cometh races, is to bring EVERYTHING to the  race, and to the start line. There is nothing worse than having the perfect bike, boots, gloves, hat... whatever... at home, or in your cabin/hotel room/yurt. This weekend looks sketchy, so, fat bike and FS Trek Superfly are going to TC. I pack more gear for Iceman than I do for a week in Colorado.

Doug Lapp

Thanks for making me feel better. I literally have 4 pairs of gloves, 4 pairs of shoes and enough clothing to last a week, 29+, 26x4.8, 2 sets of fenders and I feel like I need to rent a uhaul to get it all up there.

liz belt

Love this,  wes

Commodore

Bone spurs....got a doctor’s note 

Chad Schut

Number 30 for me!  Potential excuses that could of ruined my Iceman race day:  The flu, broken toes, broken wrist, broken bike: tire bead/rear derailleur and forgotten helmet!  Forgot the years of ice and snow, always potential for disaster!  

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